Myo Life

Transcript

Hey, I'm Carmen and welcome to Myo Life. That's short for my Outrageous Life, which is exactly the kind of life I get to live since I found the courage to ditch dental hygiene and build a life I'm bonkers about as a myofunctional therapist and entrepreneur. Here you will find all the things myo business and how to build a life that you, too, are bonkers about. I'm very happy you're here. Shall we dive in.
All right, you guys, let's get one thing straight. Every woman needs to be able to float her own damn boat. When I got divorced 15 years ago, I had nothing, you guys. I had no money, no plan, no backup, just a lot of fear and a fierce decision that I would never feel that powerless again. Fast forward to today. I have built wealth, freedom and a business that nobody can take away from me. So if you are stuck, scared or secretly hoping that somebody is going to rescue you, then this episode is the tough love that you didn't know that you needed.
So how the hell did I go from what I like to call paycheck prison to profit freedom and, more importantly, how you can do it too? In this episode, we are going to take a deep dive into the real, raw truth about why every woman needs to be able to float her own boat. If you have ever felt financially trapped, afraid to make a move, or stuck in somebody else's plan just because you've got a uterus, pull up a chair, my friend. This one's for you.
All right. So first we're going to start with the rock bottom moment. When I went through my divorce, you guys, it smacked me in the face. I had nothing saved, not for retirement, not for a rainy day, not even enough to support myself through the mess of the divorce. The emotional toll of being financially dependent on somebody else who, let's be honest, he was barely keeping his own crap together. That was a wake up call. And, you guys, my ex was in control of everything and if he missed a child support payment, the mortgage wasn't getting paid, period. That's when it hit me. Nobody is coming to save me. And from that moment on, I swore that I would never lose sleep again over money. I was going to figure it out come hell or high water.
So, long story short, I went from the situation of having nothing to starting my own business and growing it into a multi-million dollar company. I went from having debt and no investments to having no debt and tons of money and investments.
The funny thing is I like to share this story because when I went through my divorce, I started, you know, I just got to start my investing journey. I did a little stint trying to quote-unquote play the market, and I was terrible. I lost several hundred dollars right away. So I thought, okay, clearly I'm not the expert. So I contacted Fidelity to see if they would help me manage my money. Like I came from a family of people who had people managing their money, could they do this for me? And it was funny, because they told me I had to have at least $25,000, which I didn't have. So I had to just be like, okay, fast forward to now. I have a finance team of three who manages my money day to day. So I really went from one extreme to the other.
I love that story, though, because I think it helps me remember how far I've come too, because you know, when you're in the thick of it, sometimes you don't notice it or you don't think of it a lot, and then also you don't celebrate it enough. So I love that story because they are polar opposites of each other.
Okay, so along the way, though, you guys, I became very passionate about women being able to take care of themselves. So why? Why do women stay stuck financially? So, really, let's be real, most women stay stuck because of fear, okay, fear of starting over, fear that they need this person, fear that they can't do it on their own. That's what kept me married to somebody who, I mean technically, never stopped dating, but he was a six figure earner, and I just didn't feel like I could do it on my own, so I stayed, because I was afraid for the financial part of that picture.
There's also shame. For a lot of women, there's shame around not knowing how to make much money. There's shame around not knowing how to manage money or feeling like you're failing just because you don't understand finances.
And listen, you guys, I knew better. Okay, I wasn't clueless about money, but I will tell you what the problem was. I had a chocolate eclair where my backbone should have been. I didn't speak up, I didn't push back, I just nodded, I just smiled. I was just a nice girl. I went along with all of the dumb financial decisions so that we could keep up with the freaking Joneses.
I think, when I look back on it now, I was damned if I do or damned if I don't. Because if I told my husband no, then I was—for all intents and purposes—the bitch. But if I told him yes, and then if we ever had an argument about finances or there was stress, then it was all on me because you told me I could have it. So I couldn't win, so I just went along with everything. I knew better. I was college educated, I was raised in a family where I learned about money, but I just really was spineless.
So the other thing is, when we're talking about women staying stuck financially, there is a lot of cultural BS about the men being the head of the household. I meet women weekly who desperately want to join the Ditch Hygiene Academy™. They desperately want out of hygiene. They hate it. It's killing their body, it's killing their joy, it's killing them. But they can't do it because their husband said no. And I just think, like, are we still really doing that in 2025? Like, no, come on.
So my story is exactly why every woman should be able to support herself. Maybe it's not divorce for you, maybe it's sickness or injury, it could be the death of a partner who brings in income. You never know what life is going to throw at you. If you have been with me for any amount of time, you know that my youngest daughter, for the last year, has been in cancer treatment and me having the ability to support myself and have money to be able to help her, to be able to travel there, to buy all the plane tickets, to buy all the hotel rooms, all of that kind of stuff, also to move my job to North Carolina to be there for her. You don't know what is going to be coming up. So yes, my situation was the divorce, but you don't know the other thing—child support.
Again, this is not meant to be a man hater episode, but it is the easiest way that a man can mess with you. With my ex-husband I was hanging by a thread. If he missed the child support payment, I wasn't feeding the babies. What about, you know, if he loses a job? I have had several clients whose spouse started working under the table and then suddenly you're stuck again. So wouldn't it feel damn good if you never had to rely on anybody else?
And the thing is, you guys, if your life is great, if your partner is amazing and you never need to fully support yourself, guess what? You get to live a badass independent life anyway, and I think that is a win-win.
When I went all in on building my business, I was not married to my now husband, so when he was not supportive of what I was doing—he thought I was crazy for leaving hygiene, he didn't realize that me working 12 hour shifts and commuting three hours a day was killing me. He just thought I was crazy. But I didn't care. It wasn't up for debate, I did it for me. And now that my company has brought in millions, I've caught up on retirement, I've gotten myself in a really good position and, yes, he gets to benefit from the life that I have built, from the financial freedom that I have built. But make no mistake, my friend, I did it without needing his permission.
So let's talk about some tactical moves that I made that you can too. First, my friend, get a spine. Wanting more does not make you selfish, it makes you smart. Now, if you have a husband or a partner, significant other who doesn't support you, I encourage you to explain why this matters to you. What is your why? But don't beg for a permission slip. You can absolutely do this. You can learn how—and we're going to talk about myofunctional therapy in a minute—but get another job. If he doesn't support you, get another job. You'll have the money in no time.
Step two is get educated. There's a great book called Smart Women Finish Rich by David Bach. This book will wake you up. So many women lose their spouse and realize way too late that they're broke. And the reason is because they never got involved in their finances, they never got smart about money. They didn't know and understand it. Don't let that be you. In the book, he talks about the fact that a lot of women older in life end up having to move back in with their children because they can't take care of themselves. That was the biggest thing for me. From way back when I read that book, I thought, "Oh, I do not want to do that to my kids," which is why I have things like long-term care insurance, life insurance, lots of different investments, annuities—things that will keep me out of having to live with my children. If you have children and you haven't explored things like life insurance, that kind of stuff is really, really important.
I read it. They have one also—I think it's called Smart Couples Finish Rich, and that's for husband and wives. I bought this for my daughters. I will buy it for my granddaughters. It is very smart. So get involved in your finances.
The third one is ditch the debt viciously. My friend, America has a spending problem. Say no. Stop spending. Pick up a second or third gig if you have to. I worked like hell to get debt free and when you get debt free, you get some freedom.
Which leads me to number four. This one says do your pivot work and design your ideal day. This will be your playbook. Jenny Blake, the book Pivot—I start most of my clients out reading that because it was pivotal in my life. There are exercises in there that I encourage you to read the book, do the exercises, write them down, put them in a notebook somewhere, because I go through at least twice a year and reread: What is it that I wanted? What makes me feel successful? It's not just money in the bank. When you do your pivot work, you're designing what I call your ideal day. I want to work out first thing in the morning and have some relaxing time—not just jump right into emails and business. That playbook is what you will use to guide how you're building your business.
It was also the thing that helped me figure out why I was scared to leave dental hygiene and helped me develop my strengths. I thought, "Well, if I leave hygiene and become a myofunctional therapist, I’ll go broke because I won’t have clients." But what the book helped me figure out was my strength. I didn’t hate hygiene—I hated scaling teeth. But I loved helping people. And that carried over into my myofunctional therapy business. I just don’t like teaching people how to floss.
And then step five is start before you're ready. You've got to take ugly, imperfect action. We go through all of this in all of my trainings. Once you get going, keep going. I can't help you steer a parked car. We’ve got to get that car going. You can do more. You can do it better. You're going to stack those wins.
The reason that I think myofunctional therapy is the ticket is because you can control the pace of your growth. You can work from anywhere. You can make amazing money without missing dinner with your family. Going back to that ideal day—these are your non-negotiables. I help you figure out exactly what your boundaries are going to be. My non-negotiables? I don’t miss my hiking time in the morning with my dogs. I get outside first thing in the morning. I don’t miss that quiet time with myself. That’s the playbook, my ideal day, that I really try to build my business around.
When I say you have control of the pace of your growth, I mean you get to have your foot on the gas and the brake. Even running a multiple six-figure business, like I do every year, I have years where I put my foot on the brake and I don’t want to work much. You get to decide that. That's why myofunctional therapy is such an awesome option.
This career gave me the freedom to be present and profitable, and that is a combo I will never take for granted.
So, as we get ready to land this plane, I was just thinking—what would I tell my 2009 pre-divorced self? Learn how to float your own damn boat. Do it even if your partner doesn’t believe in you. Start before you’re ready. Invest before you’re confident. You will never, ever regret betting on yourself.
Last, I’ll tell you about a student I had several years ago. She enrolled in my program in the middle of a divorce. When I asked her why, she said, “Because I don’t want to ever have to count on child support.” She just wanted to take care of her kids and never worry about that. There is so much freedom in that.
Now I look at my journey into entrepreneurship with Scott, and what he has watched me do. He’s so proud of me. Yes, we get a lot of privilege because of that, but also—it’s mine. It’s my baby. And I think it’s so important to bet on yourself and build a beautiful life.
That’s a wrap, my friend. I’ll be back soon with some exciting Myo business and marketing goodness. But until then—go build something that’s unstoppable. See you soon, my friend.